I have to say these last weeks the struggle has been real - I want to write, but feel to lazy to actually do it. And time passes by like those super trains in Japan. Looking at the calendar, I've been in Mexico for three months tomorrow and away from Estonia for six months (from today). I've never been away from "home" this long, but it doesn't make a difference. These past few days I have been really happy. Maybe it's because i'm actually sleeping and getting some rest, even though I haven't really been doing much, it's all a vicious circle: get up in the morning (or more like noon) - wonder what to eat for an hour and - finally eat something random after spending another hour of doing nothing (I don't really have any specific needs on food. I want something but fail to figure out what it is. I have been wanting to eat grapes, but this is not really what I mean by getting a good meal..) - go to work, because I realize it's so damn late already - work - go home and spend an hour talking or doing who knows what.
By the way, I FINALLY have a new home (for like a week already, I really should get over my laziness!). And by now, I have a bed and a stove too, yay. I stayed at a friend's house for almost a week, which was a bit annoying, because I had to drive to and back from work every day, which was not that bad, if going back hadn't been in the middle of the night and through centro (might have told you about that before). Then stayed with a coworker for two days (slept in the same room with his mom, actually, and almost got adopted by his grandfather) and am now here, in a cute yellow house around 15 minutes from work. Feels so good to not have all my things packed in a backpack! Like seriously, sometimes you need to have all your things packed up, to realize how nice it is to not have them all packed up together.
Alex with his little Che, who actually grew on me! Small dogs are not so annoying after all.
Che really likes to lick me and sleep on my lap. But Alex said he does that with everyone, well fine then!!
First meal that actually meant cooking, at the new place, yay!!!
And since Siim seems to think I am trying to prove myself, that I can be independent and feel like coming back to Estonia is a failure, that I am not living up to my full potential, that I'm causing stress for my friends and relatives etc, I decided to write a little about how I feel on this matter. I do not feel like I need to prove myself to others or to myself, because I already know I can do it and things always work out, even if it seems at first that they don't. I'm not saying I was born with luck, but just having a positive way of thinking will make things work for me. And (it's really easy to say that right now, when I have a home and a job) who cares if it sometimes doesn't work out for a little while? This really is only for a little while and just teaches me to appreciate the good times. Plus life is a wheel of fortune. I did at first think that going back to Estonia is a failure, because that's how I kind of felt after returning from USA and Italy, that I kind of failed and am back here again. But I guess the time just wasn't right. I have felt for a long time, that I just don't want to live in Estonia. I am not sure if staying in Mexico is something I want to do, either, but life will show. I don't think about the future, much. And why should I? If the time comes, I will do it, but not right now. I don't think living in Estonia would mean failure, it's simply not an option anymore. I might not be living up to my full potential, but some time ago I read a travel blog, where the authors said, if being able to travel meant they will never have a longterm job that earned them good money, then so be it. Having a really good job is nice, of course, but not a priority! As for causing stress and worry among my friends and relatives, I have to say that of course one needs to be careful and have common sense about where not to go, but I am not going to sit locked in the house, because things might get dangerous and someone is really worried about me! There are dangerous places everywhere (I feel like I've talked about this so many times already!), also in Estonia. This is once again the moment where common sense kicks in (well ok, it's on all the time!).
I am far from understanding everything, that goes around in Mexico, the culture is different, but it's still interesting every day, because of that :) And here are some findings:
* Brenda told me the other day, that she saw, how the guy (José) who works in the kitchen at the bar in the mornings, used lemons as deodorant. We actually found some lemons in a bag in the fridge too, those might be his lemons. That was actually a while ago, but still gets me surprised.
* José is also really gay and all his actions surprise me a lot. He's pretty lazy/slow at working (not in his nature, i guess), but in constant movement (whether it is his leg having a seizure 24/7, his weird hugs or well basically everything he does). It is also really funny. He's actually the one, who works for five minutes as well (look at the end of my previous post), too. And instead of saying "minutes" says "minups" :D :D :D :D Lol
* And two days ago he asked where I was from, lol again. I've worked with him for over a month and we've talked about this, and he's still lost :D :D :D
* Talking about fun things at work, a new coworker asked yesterday, if I can read in Spanish. I was really confused at first and didn't understand, what the hell she was talking about. I mean what do you mean, can I read in Spanish???? (And how can I work in the kitchen and cook what people order, when I can't read??) She then explained, that she knows people, who can't read. I understand, that back in the days it wasn't very common and even nowadays there are remote locations, where there are more important things, but seriously. I hear about it and know that people, who can't read, roam the planet, but it still seems unbelievable!
* The other day, when going to work, we saw a family grilling. It was raining and they were using a hairdryer, to get the fire started. What was really funny (yeah, it got even funnier), was that when we were passing by, our mouths (at least mine!) open in awe, they looked really casual, like it was the most natural thing to do and said "¡Buenas tardes!" Hahahahaha, superb, really! We were (at least I was) shocked out of surprise and both mumbled "¡Buenas tardes!" in return.
* The bar manager, Josué, told me yesterday, that to show respect to his now wife's parents, he asked permission from her parents to date his girlfriend, when they first started dating, because she's from a small place.
